Pointes and Perspective #37 We Are Made Kind By Being Kind

We Are Made Kind By Being Kind

Yesterday, I was instructing a Ballet class of 9 through 12 year old dancers, and 15 minutes into class, Lucy walks quietly to my side, waits for my attention, and apologizes for being late due to attending a funeral. I was thrown off guard. I turned to her tenderly and hugged her, offering that I was so deeply sorry. I asked who had passed and she informed me that it was her Uncle. Again, my demeanor was shaken, in discovering that this was such a close family member. And seeing as this dancer is so young, I presumed her Uncle was not up in years. I looked at her, concerned, and asked if he was sick. Lucy confirmed that yes, he was. I searched for a positive thought, and assured her that he was now at peace.

By then, several dancers had gathered around, placing arms around her shoulders, offering quiet, “I’m so sorrys.” One dancer, Brenna, wrapped her arm around her classmate, pulled her close and carefully guided her to her space in class. I followed her with, “I am so glad you came to class, Lucy! I hope dance will be a welcome distraction, and lift your spirits!” I was honestly shocked she attended class. But my heart was warmed by her classmate's response. I was so pleased and proud of her community’s support, love and concern.

As we know, our job as dance instructors goes well beyond teaching dance. Personally, I have taken time to define my mission as a dance educator, and one of my goals is to teach impeccable etiquette in class. Beyond classroom rules and expectations, I believe practicing these courtesies helps to shape our students' character. I truly feel this is sadly missing in the world right now. And I feel that the dance classroom may be one of the few places remaining, where character is taught and expected. I love coaching and cultivating student’s characters and it has become one of my passions, specialty and niche. I even offer classroom etiquette and character workshops to dance schools, students and teachers.

One aspect of etiquette is encouraging a healthy dance community, and teaching empathy and compassion for others. At the start of every season, I teach the students that this is our tribe. That we are here to support each other. We are going to help one another try new things, feel safe making mistakes, pick each other up, and celebrate each other’s successes. We are here to share the space, giving every dancer a chance to be front and back, to lead and to follow.

I make sure to exemplify these things all season, modeling the etiquette I wish to see in my students. I excuse myself when taking the bar to show a combination in someone's space. I apologize when I am unclear in my instructions, and thank my students for their quiet patience when I am choreographing. I listen without interrupting when a student has a question. I validate their feelings, agreeing that, indeed, a step is difficult, or that I too am tired or sore after a class!

Each season I am delighted when I find students assisting other dancers quietly in the back of the classroom with tricky combinations or steps. Or when I witness them apologizing for getting underfoot. And when I see them welcoming a classmate to go ahead or in front of them. I make sure to point out these beautiful gestures, thanking them for moving to the back line, or vocalizing my appreciation that they waited outside the classroom until the music stopped, so as not to interrupt their classmates' barre exercise.

Every year, during our final week of classes, I ask my students to review my class. I give them a sheet to fill out, asking what they learned, what they enjoyed, what they would like to see more, or less of - basically I tell them to give me a “Google review”! Would you recommend someone take my class, and why?

We often give out student evaluations, but have you ever asked your students to evaluate YOUR class? I learn a lot from this annual tradition, and am often surprised by the responses. The exercises I assume they dislike due to their intensity, they often love! They let me know where they feel they have grown, and where they would like to improve next season. There are suggestions, compliments, and little “love notes” which warm my heart!

Last night, I just happened to be reading the reviews written by Lucy’s class. One in particular was written by my young student, Brenna, who hugged Lucy and escorted her to her spot in class. After running down the list of her favorite steps she learned in class this year, boasting excitedly that she improved her flexibility, and informing me that she really enjoyed terminology day, she wrote, “ This class has helped me not just improve as a dancer, but I have improved on being a kind person!”

My friends, it is true, as Eric Hoffer said, “We are made kind, by being kind.”