Pointes and Perspective #15 When Push Doesn't Come To Shove

Let's get right into today's discussion,

When Push Doesn’t Come To Shove

Years ago, I was teaching a class of 10 year old students, and one student in particular was being disruptive for the second week in a row, after I corrected her numerous times. She was disrupting the other students, disrupting herself from learning, and she was disrupting me. We finished a combination and I calmly approached her, saying,”Emma, you are excused from the rest of class today because you and your fellow students are not getting the full benefit of class with your constant distractions. Please sit in the hall until your parents arrive.” She muttered several, “But, but, but’s” as she took her seat in the hall.

Several years later, I was teaching an advanced class for the school and performing company I had founded. There was a 27 year old student, who was not only a company member, but she taught for the company, and happened to be my best friend. During her turn across the floor, she got frustrated to tears, and quit the combination and began walking off the floor. I stopped her immediately, telling her to, “Get back over there and finish the combination! You can’t quit on stage!”

Just this past week, I received a message from one of my University students, 30 minutes or so before class, informing me that she had bad cramps and could barely climb out of bed, so would probably miss class. I responded to her email, encouraging her, if she could muster the energy to at least come in and observe, she would receive credit, and learn by watching.

Was I pushing these students too much?

In the Rascal Flatts song, Stand, they sing “Cause when push comes to shove, you taste what you're made of… You get mad, you get strong, wipe your hands, shake it off. Then you stand!”

Pushing your students is not “shoving” them. Refraining from pushing them does both you and the student an injustice. Pushing students encourages them to face challenges, to learn, and to grow. And it encourages you, as a teacher, to uphold boundaries, teach mutual respect, and show you believe in them.

Wouldn’t you know that the 10 year old I asked to sit in the hall, came in the following week, walked right up to me without a word, and hugged me! (Her way of saying thank you for teaching me what you expect from me, and what I should expect from myself!)

And to this day, my best friend thanks me repeatedly for “making” her go back to finish her grand allegro combination across the floor through tears. She gratefully reminds me that it was a turning point for her believing in herself, because I believed in her.

And guess who showed up for class this week, not to observe, but actually dressed and ready?! Yup, my University student. AND she sent me a message later, “Thank you for pushing me to take class. It really helped me feel better!”

Push your students, so they learn how to Stand!